help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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