i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've blown a few things in my day
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
