I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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