For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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