i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
