I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
did you just send me my own nude
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
