Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize