It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
