Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
