OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
