As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
