I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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