My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
