we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
