Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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