im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize