Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize