You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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