apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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