I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
