fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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