there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
