just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
