i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.