help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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