Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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