i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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