do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
