when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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