You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
