these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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