16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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