Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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