Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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