Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize