So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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