like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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