i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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