i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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