Where is the hickey?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
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