the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
