I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
