i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
someone owes me an orgasm
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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