So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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