some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
