There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
