do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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