Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
