if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize