Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
40s are totally the cure
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
