mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
