Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
