You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
