It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
