Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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