I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
