i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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